`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Friday, September 30, 2005
I am sorry for unable to give you what you need. I may not be able to smoothen your life...because I ain't that superb to really aocomplish this mission. I love you with my heart; maybe I didn't shower enough of love according to what you see. That's all of what I can give. As much as possible, I'll try to be there for you whenever you need. But, now that we're so restricted to do many things, the affection which we used to show that added on to the "love" you see ain't gonna be as powerful as before. I've done my best; my very best.
I know that I am not easy to handle/deal with..especially my princess character. Yes, I know myself..adding on stress to you despite the happy times we spent. Right now, I've nothing to say as well. You know me from the beginning.. I love to throw tantrums.. but it's really "me". Well, you just have to know that within this impish princess who only seems to know how to agitate you, there's a soft heart. A heart which will just soften down if you tame me down with just a word of apology sincerely.
You problem lies in seeing your mistakes and accept it/admit it. Do you know that this princess of yours is willing to accept truthful words from the bottom of your heart even if it is very unpleasant? I will rather I hear you being frank than lying to me. Do you know that I will learn to accept your greatest mistakes? But, why ain't you having the slightest courage to be frank with me? After knowing that the Sentosa Trip is organised yesterday afternoon and confirmed at night, I already know that you should have known about this news since yesterday. Why did you tell Collin that you'll go after school? Is that an intention of giving up our meet-up? I understand that we're indeed making everything very nasty; not the kind of outcome we want. So, I definitely understand it if you're choosing that over ours. Why can't you come clear with me? After that "night cycling" incident, do you still want history to repeat? Do you understand that I just need you to be frank but nothing else? Even though I may be heartbroken to hear you giving up our meeting, I'll be even more heartbroken if you keep me in the dark.Winston is just an excuse? because you already plan to go? Well, even when I already go all the way down to tell you that I'm reaching, you still insisted that we shan't meet? Is this the kind of cruel scene you wanna see? Do you know how helpless I was? I do not want to assume and malign you.. Whatever things which I mentioned above, if it isn't the case, just tell me straight to the face. I want to believe you, in fact I already try to think so much alternatives for you infront of my two great friends, but the advice they give me is to think that negative so that my heart won't be sinking so deep deep down when I know everything is just truth. Can you clear all my doubts? I am just too tired to ask you right to the face... Can you see how dread I am? because whenever I try so hard to teach you, to direct you when you made me angry..same things will just repeat. I tried so hard to make you understand and you really understood me during those times...but why are you treating me like this? I am so scared that all these while..you're juts playing with me.. I hate to think of this. I'm really scare..really really.. just like what you told me that those guys screwed those girls up... Is this what's happening in me right now? Please don't ever let this happen..
I asked you "did you lie to me today?" Because something just inspired me just now..to find out where you really went. Rebecca told me that she's got a strong feeling you're not at home. I refused to believe. I told her that you'll never lie to me..intentionally. You only lied to me when you don't know how to deal with it.. like the first time you did not call me. And after yesterday when you didn't make your call, I still believe that it wasn't intentional. But Now, I dare not make a say. Why do you have to make me lose the trust in you? I trust you so whole heartedly. I really do. I don't doubt what you say; not at all. Right now, I'm to take this all alone. Luckily, you did not lie to me again when I asked. I'm thankful for this. I just hope for you to come clear with me... when you're free...I really hope. And, even though it is already after your attachment, I don't demand you to come to visit this blog more than 20 times per day just like me.. I did this because I am anxious for your words. But, I don't expect this amount of anxiety in you. All I ask of you is to have a habit to check every now and then, and to blog as much as possible. Can you don't lie to me anymore? I just want to know every single truth... Maybe, to you it wasn't a lie at all. But, I wish to ask, if I haven't ask you, will you still confess to me? What will you if you're in my shoes? Always always..I'm seeking for you to trust me. I'm glad that you promise you will. But, can you on the other hand don't abuse my trust for you? I'm trusting you for every single word of yours. And, do you understand that things which you haven't dare to come clear is considered hiding and hiding from me will eventually lead you to lie ? Hiding ain't healthy for a relationship as well.
Whatever it is, maybe you've found out that the one for you ain't me anymore. Maybe you wanna tell me that for once you loved me; now you no longer. Why am I feeling so deeply inside that you no longer love me like the past.. How am I supposed to react now? The trust..The love.. for you.. what can I do? ... Anyway, I won't bother you anymore if you don't want me to... I'll leave you alone. Really.
Sign off`
I know that I am not easy to handle/deal with..especially my princess character. Yes, I know myself..adding on stress to you despite the happy times we spent. Right now, I've nothing to say as well. You know me from the beginning.. I love to throw tantrums.. but it's really "me". Well, you just have to know that within this impish princess who only seems to know how to agitate you, there's a soft heart. A heart which will just soften down if you tame me down with just a word of apology sincerely.
You problem lies in seeing your mistakes and accept it/admit it. Do you know that this princess of yours is willing to accept truthful words from the bottom of your heart even if it is very unpleasant? I will rather I hear you being frank than lying to me. Do you know that I will learn to accept your greatest mistakes? But, why ain't you having the slightest courage to be frank with me? After knowing that the Sentosa Trip is organised yesterday afternoon and confirmed at night, I already know that you should have known about this news since yesterday. Why did you tell Collin that you'll go after school? Is that an intention of giving up our meet-up? I understand that we're indeed making everything very nasty; not the kind of outcome we want. So, I definitely understand it if you're choosing that over ours. Why can't you come clear with me? After that "night cycling" incident, do you still want history to repeat? Do you understand that I just need you to be frank but nothing else? Even though I may be heartbroken to hear you giving up our meeting, I'll be even more heartbroken if you keep me in the dark.Winston is just an excuse? because you already plan to go? Well, even when I already go all the way down to tell you that I'm reaching, you still insisted that we shan't meet? Is this the kind of cruel scene you wanna see? Do you know how helpless I was? I do not want to assume and malign you.. Whatever things which I mentioned above, if it isn't the case, just tell me straight to the face. I want to believe you, in fact I already try to think so much alternatives for you infront of my two great friends, but the advice they give me is to think that negative so that my heart won't be sinking so deep deep down when I know everything is just truth. Can you clear all my doubts? I am just too tired to ask you right to the face... Can you see how dread I am? because whenever I try so hard to teach you, to direct you when you made me angry..same things will just repeat. I tried so hard to make you understand and you really understood me during those times...but why are you treating me like this? I am so scared that all these while..you're juts playing with me.. I hate to think of this. I'm really scare..really really.. just like what you told me that those guys screwed those girls up... Is this what's happening in me right now? Please don't ever let this happen..
I asked you "did you lie to me today?" Because something just inspired me just now..to find out where you really went. Rebecca told me that she's got a strong feeling you're not at home. I refused to believe. I told her that you'll never lie to me..intentionally. You only lied to me when you don't know how to deal with it.. like the first time you did not call me. And after yesterday when you didn't make your call, I still believe that it wasn't intentional. But Now, I dare not make a say. Why do you have to make me lose the trust in you? I trust you so whole heartedly. I really do. I don't doubt what you say; not at all. Right now, I'm to take this all alone. Luckily, you did not lie to me again when I asked. I'm thankful for this. I just hope for you to come clear with me... when you're free...I really hope. And, even though it is already after your attachment, I don't demand you to come to visit this blog more than 20 times per day just like me.. I did this because I am anxious for your words. But, I don't expect this amount of anxiety in you. All I ask of you is to have a habit to check every now and then, and to blog as much as possible. Can you don't lie to me anymore? I just want to know every single truth... Maybe, to you it wasn't a lie at all. But, I wish to ask, if I haven't ask you, will you still confess to me? What will you if you're in my shoes? Always always..I'm seeking for you to trust me. I'm glad that you promise you will. But, can you on the other hand don't abuse my trust for you? I'm trusting you for every single word of yours. And, do you understand that things which you haven't dare to come clear is considered hiding and hiding from me will eventually lead you to lie ? Hiding ain't healthy for a relationship as well.
Whatever it is, maybe you've found out that the one for you ain't me anymore. Maybe you wanna tell me that for once you loved me; now you no longer. Why am I feeling so deeply inside that you no longer love me like the past.. How am I supposed to react now? The trust..The love.. for you.. what can I do? ... Anyway, I won't bother you anymore if you don't want me to... I'll leave you alone. Really.
Sign off`