`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Well it's 26th of the month again.. another month passed and it's our 7th month anniversary. I hope it goes on and on..
Sigh. I'm feeling alil empty once again.. At this moment, I just start feeling stones in my heart despite things are changing better from the very very bad situation just few days back or should I say just around 1 day back? Hymph` I don't know. I just feel rather uncertain of everything... All the good..will it really last? I fear to know the answer is a "no".
He's been really sweet from yesterday till today. It sort of reminds me of all the sweet days before things became "not that good". I don't deny, I just feel that this sweetness is back again yesterday and I'm happy that this change took place. But, what will it be few days or week later? I fear and worried for what's to come. This is probably the insecurity I'm having all these while.. My heart seems to be thumping real hard these days. I've to undergo big emotional changes all the time..as it seems to be. I think this is why I feel that I can break down anytime. I just can't take any big blow again..I am not as strong as I thought I was. Perhaps I'll move on as usual, but the cut that lies down there will always be there for a long period of time..
I'm sorry that I have a mood swing in the sms. You did not blame me at all, instead you moved on with another topic which is about us. I'm shocked to see that you said you haven't give me anything for our monthly anniversary. For a long time I haven't been seeing all "these".. now that I see it once again and I realised that you do remembers, I'm really touched. But, on the other hand, I'm thinking "what if it's just a coincidence? cuz' you never know... " Well, very sorry to doubt your intention.. it's really bad of me to do so. I need time and everything now..
Actually it's not that I don't want to talk about my church. I just haven't really get used to talking about our churches right now? Cuz' I know that you've been waiting for me to be back to Brighton. I'm sad to say..it won't be now. But, I promised that your desire to see me back will come so long as we last and glorify God. Well, I guess I just want the attention to be on us than any other stuffs right now(of course not to forget God).. & I guess I just need us to build up a strong base and firm foundation for us right now. The security has to be there all the time..and now, it's so frail. I don't want it this way but I believe that you'll do your best to apply what you've learnt to make things back to normal isn't it? Sigh. It's been two weeks I haven't see you.. I miss you badly..
I love you dear.. Happy that it's another one more month for us.. I'll want it to last eternity until we see our Father. take care and hugs~
darling jose signed off`
Sigh. I'm feeling alil empty once again.. At this moment, I just start feeling stones in my heart despite things are changing better from the very very bad situation just few days back or should I say just around 1 day back? Hymph` I don't know. I just feel rather uncertain of everything... All the good..will it really last? I fear to know the answer is a "no".
He's been really sweet from yesterday till today. It sort of reminds me of all the sweet days before things became "not that good". I don't deny, I just feel that this sweetness is back again yesterday and I'm happy that this change took place. But, what will it be few days or week later? I fear and worried for what's to come. This is probably the insecurity I'm having all these while.. My heart seems to be thumping real hard these days. I've to undergo big emotional changes all the time..as it seems to be. I think this is why I feel that I can break down anytime. I just can't take any big blow again..I am not as strong as I thought I was. Perhaps I'll move on as usual, but the cut that lies down there will always be there for a long period of time..
I'm sorry that I have a mood swing in the sms. You did not blame me at all, instead you moved on with another topic which is about us. I'm shocked to see that you said you haven't give me anything for our monthly anniversary. For a long time I haven't been seeing all "these".. now that I see it once again and I realised that you do remembers, I'm really touched. But, on the other hand, I'm thinking "what if it's just a coincidence? cuz' you never know... " Well, very sorry to doubt your intention.. it's really bad of me to do so. I need time and everything now..
Actually it's not that I don't want to talk about my church. I just haven't really get used to talking about our churches right now? Cuz' I know that you've been waiting for me to be back to Brighton. I'm sad to say..it won't be now. But, I promised that your desire to see me back will come so long as we last and glorify God. Well, I guess I just want the attention to be on us than any other stuffs right now(of course not to forget God).. & I guess I just need us to build up a strong base and firm foundation for us right now. The security has to be there all the time..and now, it's so frail. I don't want it this way but I believe that you'll do your best to apply what you've learnt to make things back to normal isn't it? Sigh. It's been two weeks I haven't see you.. I miss you badly..
I love you dear.. Happy that it's another one more month for us.. I'll want it to last eternity until we see our Father. take care and hugs~
darling jose signed off`