`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Friday, December 16, 2005
In the midst of stillness, I start to doubt everything. I know God is probably blessing us because what I see now is just a pure bliss between him and me. However, who knows what God's plan really is? I don't want to question "why" because I heard something last time.. "It's hard not to ask God 'why'.." Well, true enough, this question is just so commonly used among all of us. I wonder if God feels irritated to have people who keep question him. If it was me, I guess I will; so let alone God. I'm trying hard not to ask "why" and I've been praying for God's direction. God answered every of my prayer, he is really a good & awesome God. Everything is so calm, so peaceful, and so cool now. I guess this a hardly ever seen peacefulness which makes me fear for an eruption of any greater problems ahead. "Do not fear for fear paralyzes you" - yes, I know but it's just hard to control your emotion within your flesh.
Get to think of it, we've come so far. Nearing 8 months just in 10 days time. Time flies, but it's just merely 8 months. 8 months..so long yet seems so short to me at the same time..because all I want is not just 8 months but an eternity. Comparing to eternity, what's this 8 months? On the contrary, what's long in an eternity? I guess I'll just never get contented. I just want a life long time of pure bliss between him and me together with our one and only Heavenly Father.
Everyone is fear of failure. I am in this list too. My greatest fear now is that things doesn't work between him and me in the end. But, I know I have to put my faith in God; trusting him in every area of my life. As I go along when God really blesses me, I'm more assured and faith just comes along more and more. I don't mean that I will only ask for blessings through faith. But when I pray through faith and that blessings come along, it just boost up a greater level of faith in me. God is just this amazing. His blessings don't come in without additional faith. Perhaps, I just need more and more faith until I'll doubt about things around me no more. I won't take God's blessings for granted for each time I'm blessed, I feel closer to him. I just want to shout out "Abba Father" until I break into tears right now.. This is how dearly his presence can be when we all shout "Abba Father". I experienced it last sunday. My tears overflowed and I received peace since then. Of course, surely there'll be some unhappiness in my life once in a while. Nonetheless, at least I don't feel drained fighting this battle as much already. Maybe more trials are to come, but I shall learn to seek Him as I go along.
I'm still confused about church stuffs. But, I guess He'll surely lead me as I go along. I just have to put in my best to adapt and know He never fails to be there for me when I need Him. I need more faith, more directions and strength to move on. All these resources shall only come from Him. I need to be reliant on God. I need to have a break through. I need God in my life. Life is never easy because we're here not to be in comfort(read in a christian literature). Life can be a struggle but sweetness will come after that. God, I want more of you. I cannot lose grip of having you in my life even though I'm tempted to every now and then.
I just hope that we can continue to walk with God hand in hand. I just hope that our future is more than just this. I want to live in God's glory together with you dear. I want to stay under one roof with you one day.. worshipping our God, honouring Him and people see the Glory of His in us. I want no more prosecution and we surely deserve all these after so much. Dear, I love you and miss your presence so dearly. Let us not give up and walk through this storm... With you beside me, I'm more and more assured. Thank God for this. I want nothing but blissful life !!!
darling Jose signed off`
Get to think of it, we've come so far. Nearing 8 months just in 10 days time. Time flies, but it's just merely 8 months. 8 months..so long yet seems so short to me at the same time..because all I want is not just 8 months but an eternity. Comparing to eternity, what's this 8 months? On the contrary, what's long in an eternity? I guess I'll just never get contented. I just want a life long time of pure bliss between him and me together with our one and only Heavenly Father.
Everyone is fear of failure. I am in this list too. My greatest fear now is that things doesn't work between him and me in the end. But, I know I have to put my faith in God; trusting him in every area of my life. As I go along when God really blesses me, I'm more assured and faith just comes along more and more. I don't mean that I will only ask for blessings through faith. But when I pray through faith and that blessings come along, it just boost up a greater level of faith in me. God is just this amazing. His blessings don't come in without additional faith. Perhaps, I just need more and more faith until I'll doubt about things around me no more. I won't take God's blessings for granted for each time I'm blessed, I feel closer to him. I just want to shout out "Abba Father" until I break into tears right now.. This is how dearly his presence can be when we all shout "Abba Father". I experienced it last sunday. My tears overflowed and I received peace since then. Of course, surely there'll be some unhappiness in my life once in a while. Nonetheless, at least I don't feel drained fighting this battle as much already. Maybe more trials are to come, but I shall learn to seek Him as I go along.
I'm still confused about church stuffs. But, I guess He'll surely lead me as I go along. I just have to put in my best to adapt and know He never fails to be there for me when I need Him. I need more faith, more directions and strength to move on. All these resources shall only come from Him. I need to be reliant on God. I need to have a break through. I need God in my life. Life is never easy because we're here not to be in comfort(read in a christian literature). Life can be a struggle but sweetness will come after that. God, I want more of you. I cannot lose grip of having you in my life even though I'm tempted to every now and then.
I just hope that we can continue to walk with God hand in hand. I just hope that our future is more than just this. I want to live in God's glory together with you dear. I want to stay under one roof with you one day.. worshipping our God, honouring Him and people see the Glory of His in us. I want no more prosecution and we surely deserve all these after so much. Dear, I love you and miss your presence so dearly. Let us not give up and walk through this storm... With you beside me, I'm more and more assured. Thank God for this. I want nothing but blissful life !!!
darling Jose signed off`