`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
It was a sms-battle again..
I really hate smsing so long so long and I don't even know if that party gets what I meant..
Sigh. Everything comes and goes. Happiness and sorrows take turns to revolve in ones life. My life hasn't been so earth shakening very much until I met him. I don't even know why I'll get together with him. It's really so amazing that I'll have the feelings for him that time even when we don't know each other pretty much.. Get to think of it, if we don't start, I'll probably won't have so much "unwanted" memories and hurts. At the same time, I'll lose all the sweet moments which I can never claim it from just anybody on this earth.
Recalling back the past smses he sent to me, there will always be a thing which he never fails to type and don't mind spending time typing them out. But, I feel it's not very relevant and useful to resolve our problems in a sense.. He always type a long schedule of his work list. But, I thought that we settle that the other time. Time management is the key to everything. Yes, I understand that he is very stress from all the works he has to complete, but I think it's pretty useless to keep reminding me when I really know and there's nothing we can do about it(work has to be done n matter what right?). Certain things like Church stuffs and School work are really inevitable; it's almost a habit that he'll have to attend to every now and then. But why is it so that he has to tell me again and again? Pity or Empathize? I rather I empathize and go through with him for the least. However, he don't get it. Work can never be finished; even if you have finish this one, the next will come. And, you should always learn to do things even at your inconvenient time.. In the first place, we don't have very much convenient time in life. A convenient time for you may not necessarily be a convenient time others. Yes, you can jolly well procrastinate or to be phrased better, you postpone it. But, without a fixed date in mind, I see that it's getting nowhere. You will eventually keep dragging and dragging, leaving the matter hanging halfway and not solved. Yeps by then, things may have already gone back to normal, but I am sure that since nobody talks about it this time, there'll surely be a next time for the same problem to arise. How I wish he just knows my heart and everything I said.. Maybe he knows but he just can't apply it. But he has got to learn no matter what.. It's a very needed life skill he needs to acquire. How can you not know the meanings within people's words? It's like communication break-down.. =/
He said that he don't mind having to call me before doing his work, but definitely not today or certain days when he will be really busy. But since when have he done it recently? I'm afraid that it's just empty words. He said he will surely find a time to talk with me, like a possibility will be staying overnight with one another to really talk things out and stuffs. Forgodden sake! when you can't even manage a date/phone call, you talk about this kind of stay overnight thingy? I just feel that if only you can manage these two things well, and shower enough of love unto me making me feeling so secure, that's already more that enough. You said that I'm a very good giver and you don't deny that you feel very secure with me. But this kind of thing cannot work one-sided. You feel secure and I don't. You feel secure probably because I'm really giving in all that I can to shower so much love unto you willingly, and I really see myself doing it all out for you without complaints. You're a taker who never will feel so insecure because of my proven love for you. But, when is the time that I can take as much as I can once in a while? I need motivation being a taker as well but why do I feel I took nothing from you all these while? The only few times when I can be a taker will be on special occassions like on anniversary or my birthday and etc.. But still, all these ain't really enough. I just need you to be consistent to give while you're taking. If you're not ready to give, then.. it is pointless for us to continue isn't it? You can't give means you can't commit, when you can't commit, it is impossible for our relationship to work out fine. And I wanna remind again that giving don't have a convenient time.. You give whenever your heart says so..It's just so natural unless you tell me your heart don't do that. It's getting alil fishy over here if this is so.. =/ sigh
Oh well, I wonder when will this war end? I don't know if I will eventually make a decision that'll freak myself and everybody out.. I just I won't. I need God to lead and guide me now.. Hais. Can I want a heart that truly think of me and always have a space for me? It seems like I'm being put in one of the very cramp area in your heart.. Search your heart, Do you really need me? Hais.
signed off`
I really hate smsing so long so long and I don't even know if that party gets what I meant..
Sigh. Everything comes and goes. Happiness and sorrows take turns to revolve in ones life. My life hasn't been so earth shakening very much until I met him. I don't even know why I'll get together with him. It's really so amazing that I'll have the feelings for him that time even when we don't know each other pretty much.. Get to think of it, if we don't start, I'll probably won't have so much "unwanted" memories and hurts. At the same time, I'll lose all the sweet moments which I can never claim it from just anybody on this earth.
Recalling back the past smses he sent to me, there will always be a thing which he never fails to type and don't mind spending time typing them out. But, I feel it's not very relevant and useful to resolve our problems in a sense.. He always type a long schedule of his work list. But, I thought that we settle that the other time. Time management is the key to everything. Yes, I understand that he is very stress from all the works he has to complete, but I think it's pretty useless to keep reminding me when I really know and there's nothing we can do about it(work has to be done n matter what right?). Certain things like Church stuffs and School work are really inevitable; it's almost a habit that he'll have to attend to every now and then. But why is it so that he has to tell me again and again? Pity or Empathize? I rather I empathize and go through with him for the least. However, he don't get it. Work can never be finished; even if you have finish this one, the next will come. And, you should always learn to do things even at your inconvenient time.. In the first place, we don't have very much convenient time in life. A convenient time for you may not necessarily be a convenient time others. Yes, you can jolly well procrastinate or to be phrased better, you postpone it. But, without a fixed date in mind, I see that it's getting nowhere. You will eventually keep dragging and dragging, leaving the matter hanging halfway and not solved. Yeps by then, things may have already gone back to normal, but I am sure that since nobody talks about it this time, there'll surely be a next time for the same problem to arise. How I wish he just knows my heart and everything I said.. Maybe he knows but he just can't apply it. But he has got to learn no matter what.. It's a very needed life skill he needs to acquire. How can you not know the meanings within people's words? It's like communication break-down.. =/
He said that he don't mind having to call me before doing his work, but definitely not today or certain days when he will be really busy. But since when have he done it recently? I'm afraid that it's just empty words. He said he will surely find a time to talk with me, like a possibility will be staying overnight with one another to really talk things out and stuffs. Forgodden sake! when you can't even manage a date/phone call, you talk about this kind of stay overnight thingy? I just feel that if only you can manage these two things well, and shower enough of love unto me making me feeling so secure, that's already more that enough. You said that I'm a very good giver and you don't deny that you feel very secure with me. But this kind of thing cannot work one-sided. You feel secure and I don't. You feel secure probably because I'm really giving in all that I can to shower so much love unto you willingly, and I really see myself doing it all out for you without complaints. You're a taker who never will feel so insecure because of my proven love for you. But, when is the time that I can take as much as I can once in a while? I need motivation being a taker as well but why do I feel I took nothing from you all these while? The only few times when I can be a taker will be on special occassions like on anniversary or my birthday and etc.. But still, all these ain't really enough. I just need you to be consistent to give while you're taking. If you're not ready to give, then.. it is pointless for us to continue isn't it? You can't give means you can't commit, when you can't commit, it is impossible for our relationship to work out fine. And I wanna remind again that giving don't have a convenient time.. You give whenever your heart says so..It's just so natural unless you tell me your heart don't do that. It's getting alil fishy over here if this is so.. =/ sigh
Oh well, I wonder when will this war end? I don't know if I will eventually make a decision that'll freak myself and everybody out.. I just I won't. I need God to lead and guide me now.. Hais. Can I want a heart that truly think of me and always have a space for me? It seems like I'm being put in one of the very cramp area in your heart.. Search your heart, Do you really need me? Hais.
signed off`