`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I don't know what happen. I slept from 2am to 6pm consciously. Yes, it is consciously. Between intervals, I can feel the vibration from calls or smses. I left the call ringing(looking at the number, I don't wish to pick up this unfamiliar number) while as for smses, I read them and then put my handphone aside. I just don't wish to wake up because I knew that I would have nothing better to do and ended up running wild thoughts. And so, I escaped a normal boring day right up till now.
I don't believe in anybody right now. He said he'll never repeat the same mistakes again that time, but he did. All his claims, I trust in it. But, everything prove it wrong yesterday. I know he may be as vex as I am, trying to escape talking about it or whatsoever, but leaving in this manner only deteriorate the situation between us. I mean I would have felt much worser apart from "it".
"No more next time, I won't repeat the same mistake"
"I love you like last time"
"I won't leave you because of this one lor"
"I really care for you one lor"
All these become nothing the moment he left with his "tata" yesterday in msn. The feeling suck because already I'm feeling terrible inside. This adds on to my very very bad feelings within me. He said he will still sms me, but sms don't make a difference if he had the intention to sleep early. It's only in msn that I know he won't K.O just like that. If he can't stay on in msn because of "something" and then wanna continue our conversation in sms, that's a different thing. But having said he wanna log off and then knowing that he will K.O in no time, what's the purpose of "I'll still sms you one wadz"? I mean yes, every night he will message m a goodnight message before he sleeps, but that is fine when no conversation is carrying on. Sigh. I guess he simply don't get it. To him, I may be just irritating, barking him non stop all day long. Knowing my worries is not enough, going through with me is what I want. After everything yesterday, I feel I'm so unimportant. Paranoid? Yes, I am. I just can't stop my paranoia especially in this period of time.
Sigh. Forget it. I won't bother him anymore. I won't contact him or whatsoever. Even if anything happens, I won't tell him. I'll just keep everything to myself. Sobs.
Till today, there is still no sign of my menses. Not a single bit. Alright, I think I have already worried enough. Right now, even though I am scare that I may have to make a cruel decision, I no longer care as much as compared to past few days. Even if I have to, I'll just do it. I have to start preparing to accept such a imperfect me anytime.
signed off`
I don't believe in anybody right now. He said he'll never repeat the same mistakes again that time, but he did. All his claims, I trust in it. But, everything prove it wrong yesterday. I know he may be as vex as I am, trying to escape talking about it or whatsoever, but leaving in this manner only deteriorate the situation between us. I mean I would have felt much worser apart from "it".
"No more next time, I won't repeat the same mistake"
"I love you like last time"
"I won't leave you because of this one lor"
"I really care for you one lor"
All these become nothing the moment he left with his "tata" yesterday in msn. The feeling suck because already I'm feeling terrible inside. This adds on to my very very bad feelings within me. He said he will still sms me, but sms don't make a difference if he had the intention to sleep early. It's only in msn that I know he won't K.O just like that. If he can't stay on in msn because of "something" and then wanna continue our conversation in sms, that's a different thing. But having said he wanna log off and then knowing that he will K.O in no time, what's the purpose of "I'll still sms you one wadz"? I mean yes, every night he will message m a goodnight message before he sleeps, but that is fine when no conversation is carrying on. Sigh. I guess he simply don't get it. To him, I may be just irritating, barking him non stop all day long. Knowing my worries is not enough, going through with me is what I want. After everything yesterday, I feel I'm so unimportant. Paranoid? Yes, I am. I just can't stop my paranoia especially in this period of time.
Sigh. Forget it. I won't bother him anymore. I won't contact him or whatsoever. Even if anything happens, I won't tell him. I'll just keep everything to myself. Sobs.
Till today, there is still no sign of my menses. Not a single bit. Alright, I think I have already worried enough. Right now, even though I am scare that I may have to make a cruel decision, I no longer care as much as compared to past few days. Even if I have to, I'll just do it. I have to start preparing to accept such a imperfect me anytime.
signed off`