`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I don't know why, I suddenly feel kind of down. It's not heartbroken feeling or what, it's just a kind of gloomy feeling in there.
First, how can I forget today is huiqing's birthday when I actually went out to talk with her in the cafe in the afternoon? I'm just an number-idiot lahs. I can't seem to remember numbers at all, I don't take note of the dates as well. I feel rather shocked again cuz' I forget someone's birthday like nobody's buisness again. It's "again"... kind of sad. I also don't know how and why.. I think even if I record down, it's also useless. If I don't take note of dates, I'll never get it anyway. Right? Hymph`
Secondly, I think I'm still worried of this "new start". It's not like I have no faith in God, but the human nature of being worried just comes to me naturally. I always thought that we're kind of ready for any kind of "high tide" as such, but I realised I wasn't that ready. I don't know if I can cope well, but for his sake I'll try. However, assurance from habits, tone, expression, talk, msn, sms and all that still play a part.. especially crucial during this start-off period. I don't know why, I just don't want to feel different yet I'm already feeling kind of different. It's like.. he said I shan't be that sensitive cuz' nothing changed. But, I just feel alil different unlike last time(past few days).
I'm worried for him cuz' he's undergoing pressures from them as well. Sigh. Before I can help him with his spiritual growth, I really must cope well with mine first. Mine as in..my feelings and all that. I must be comfortable with myself before I can assist him to be more God-focused. We're gonna be more God-Oriented than before.. We're gonna prove them wrong. But before we can actually do that, we must really get over the "whatever kind of weird feelings" we haven't get rid of. It all comes from assurance isn't it. He may not feel he need it, but I think I need it(cuz' of some of the past). Oh well, I hope he gets it. Anyway, to be dependent and entrust God, does that mean you can be ignorant about what's happening around you? I just feel even though we entrust God, we'll still have our concerns. It's just so natural, am I right? Hymph` Ignorance and Entrusting God whole-heartedly is pretty different. Oh well, I think it takes time for him to know.
Sigh. A not-so-bad cum not-so-good day for me. I feel rather heavy in my heart and I don't know why.. I just hope that God can rid this feeling away from me. Dear Lord Father, I really hope that You'll anoint us in everything we do. I just ask You to reveal to us what we can do to please You. Let us be closer and closer to You, more faithful to You and stand strong in You. May your blessings be showered unto us. Amen.
signed off`
First, how can I forget today is huiqing's birthday when I actually went out to talk with her in the cafe in the afternoon? I'm just an number-idiot lahs. I can't seem to remember numbers at all, I don't take note of the dates as well. I feel rather shocked again cuz' I forget someone's birthday like nobody's buisness again. It's "again"... kind of sad. I also don't know how and why.. I think even if I record down, it's also useless. If I don't take note of dates, I'll never get it anyway. Right? Hymph`
Secondly, I think I'm still worried of this "new start". It's not like I have no faith in God, but the human nature of being worried just comes to me naturally. I always thought that we're kind of ready for any kind of "high tide" as such, but I realised I wasn't that ready. I don't know if I can cope well, but for his sake I'll try. However, assurance from habits, tone, expression, talk, msn, sms and all that still play a part.. especially crucial during this start-off period. I don't know why, I just don't want to feel different yet I'm already feeling kind of different. It's like.. he said I shan't be that sensitive cuz' nothing changed. But, I just feel alil different unlike last time(past few days).
I'm worried for him cuz' he's undergoing pressures from them as well. Sigh. Before I can help him with his spiritual growth, I really must cope well with mine first. Mine as in..my feelings and all that. I must be comfortable with myself before I can assist him to be more God-focused. We're gonna be more God-Oriented than before.. We're gonna prove them wrong. But before we can actually do that, we must really get over the "whatever kind of weird feelings" we haven't get rid of. It all comes from assurance isn't it. He may not feel he need it, but I think I need it(cuz' of some of the past). Oh well, I hope he gets it. Anyway, to be dependent and entrust God, does that mean you can be ignorant about what's happening around you? I just feel even though we entrust God, we'll still have our concerns. It's just so natural, am I right? Hymph` Ignorance and Entrusting God whole-heartedly is pretty different. Oh well, I think it takes time for him to know.
Sigh. A not-so-bad cum not-so-good day for me. I feel rather heavy in my heart and I don't know why.. I just hope that God can rid this feeling away from me. Dear Lord Father, I really hope that You'll anoint us in everything we do. I just ask You to reveal to us what we can do to please You. Let us be closer and closer to You, more faithful to You and stand strong in You. May your blessings be showered unto us. Amen.
signed off`