`aisya
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
`anthony
`brenna
`chiasin
`daniel tan
`filly
`freddie
`gloria
`hubert
`huiqing
`ivan
`jieying
`joanne lee
`jowell
`joyce see
`junjie
`kangsheng
`kezia
`kwangwei
`lianhong
`leepeng
`marcus
`maureen
`pamela
`reeve
`ruikun
`sharon
`sherlyn
`thena
`wee cheong
`weimin
`xinyi
`xinyue
`yichang
Saturday, August 05, 2006
argh.. i feel so sick. i don't think i'm sick physically, but i guess i am really worn out. this whole week has been very hectic for me. i just wish that i can free my mind and rest. too bad, i have one more week to slog.. sighs. seriously not only physically exhaused, but also emotionally and mentally.
i really feel like going on a trip. however, firstly money is a very big problem. secondly, seeking approval may seem alil tough as well. but at least i know that it's not as hard as the first one. if i have money, i guess approval is not a problem. who wanna bless me with money ? hymph. i'm alil crazy over here. forget what i say.
up next. he's gone for his trip already. i received a call at 7 plus in the morning when i was still asleep. he was telling me that he will be checking in soon and asked me not to treat this phonecall as a dream. well, i was really blur, i go 'orh' all the way. practically no words came out of my mouth except 'orh okay'. well, i hope he's reached safe and sound. it's 1245am in singapore already. i wonder what time is it over there. i wonder alot of things as well. you know what? i just thought that how and when and why did things seem to be back to normal even when i said it was a cool off. i mean.. i really don't know what's going on anymore. seriously, we know that even after 2 weeks, we'll still love each other. these two weeks are not for us to reflect about our love, but to reflect on our problems and perhaps also to see if we should continue? for a moment, i know that love can overwhelm everything, how about in long term? however, i seem to have fall into the trap of being so in love with him. i mean, i seem to have forgiven and forget it subconsciously..well, i guess i did not really forgot all about it if i were to reflect now. you know what i'm saying? i also don't really know how to put it to words. oh well.. i chose not to admit i miss him, but i can't deny i really am missing him. i wish to see him soon again. in my heart, i'm longing for him close to me.
but then again, today i was being reminded of a fact. we were just talking about it in the DES just now, but i don't think there's a conclusion to such matter. sometimes i don't feel like i have him despite having him? what a contradiction it is? yar, i mean we were saying that we saw some couples in our cohort or in our class, making us feel that sometimes we don't seem to have our special somebody cuz' we don't mingle as much like them. sometimes, it's just sweet to see them waiting for each other, looking for each other after school or during break time, sending each other home (i don't know how far/close they might live away from one another), but at least i know that there're still willing souls who will wanna send their loved ones home. so, somehow.. seeing them like this.. it makes me think and wonder. do i really have one? am i really in one? really? if so, why not? ... and then i will help to find some reasons to back up. 'oh maybe..' blablabla. yar afterall, i find it not convincing enough cuz' i still want somebody to dote and pamper me. and it's josephine you know.. yes.. especially josephine, the more i will want my special somebody to treat me so lovingly. =/ oh well.. just some thoughts for the day.
hmm.. tomorrow's a weekend. but i don't think i'll be very free as well? sighs. so many things to do, yet i'm not in a mood to start at the moment. i need a rest, but i can't rest for too long. goSh.. quickly get me through this coming week and i'm done with! argh. so grumpy and burdensome at night. i just feel so troubled at night especially.. God, let me a have a good rest tonight and give me all the strength i could possibly have to slog for the rest of the week! i pray that i won't flop any module in Jesus name. i can't afford to re-do any module, it's gonna be so disastrous for me. sighs. well, God bless me. thank you Jesus once again for staying with me. Amen.
sign off`
i really feel like going on a trip. however, firstly money is a very big problem. secondly, seeking approval may seem alil tough as well. but at least i know that it's not as hard as the first one. if i have money, i guess approval is not a problem. who wanna bless me with money ? hymph. i'm alil crazy over here. forget what i say.
up next. he's gone for his trip already. i received a call at 7 plus in the morning when i was still asleep. he was telling me that he will be checking in soon and asked me not to treat this phonecall as a dream. well, i was really blur, i go 'orh' all the way. practically no words came out of my mouth except 'orh okay'. well, i hope he's reached safe and sound. it's 1245am in singapore already. i wonder what time is it over there. i wonder alot of things as well. you know what? i just thought that how and when and why did things seem to be back to normal even when i said it was a cool off. i mean.. i really don't know what's going on anymore. seriously, we know that even after 2 weeks, we'll still love each other. these two weeks are not for us to reflect about our love, but to reflect on our problems and perhaps also to see if we should continue? for a moment, i know that love can overwhelm everything, how about in long term? however, i seem to have fall into the trap of being so in love with him. i mean, i seem to have forgiven and forget it subconsciously..well, i guess i did not really forgot all about it if i were to reflect now. you know what i'm saying? i also don't really know how to put it to words. oh well.. i chose not to admit i miss him, but i can't deny i really am missing him. i wish to see him soon again. in my heart, i'm longing for him close to me.
but then again, today i was being reminded of a fact. we were just talking about it in the DES just now, but i don't think there's a conclusion to such matter. sometimes i don't feel like i have him despite having him? what a contradiction it is? yar, i mean we were saying that we saw some couples in our cohort or in our class, making us feel that sometimes we don't seem to have our special somebody cuz' we don't mingle as much like them. sometimes, it's just sweet to see them waiting for each other, looking for each other after school or during break time, sending each other home (i don't know how far/close they might live away from one another), but at least i know that there're still willing souls who will wanna send their loved ones home. so, somehow.. seeing them like this.. it makes me think and wonder. do i really have one? am i really in one? really? if so, why not? ... and then i will help to find some reasons to back up. 'oh maybe..' blablabla. yar afterall, i find it not convincing enough cuz' i still want somebody to dote and pamper me. and it's josephine you know.. yes.. especially josephine, the more i will want my special somebody to treat me so lovingly. =/ oh well.. just some thoughts for the day.
hmm.. tomorrow's a weekend. but i don't think i'll be very free as well? sighs. so many things to do, yet i'm not in a mood to start at the moment. i need a rest, but i can't rest for too long. goSh.. quickly get me through this coming week and i'm done with! argh. so grumpy and burdensome at night. i just feel so troubled at night especially.. God, let me a have a good rest tonight and give me all the strength i could possibly have to slog for the rest of the week! i pray that i won't flop any module in Jesus name. i can't afford to re-do any module, it's gonna be so disastrous for me. sighs. well, God bless me. thank you Jesus once again for staying with me. Amen.
sign off`