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Josephine.
Since 1988.
A tub of Strawberry Cheesecake Ice-cream with my favourite Hollywood flicks pretty sums me up.







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Sunday, November 19, 2006

my surprise for saturday. when i entered the car, a cake from 'sweet secret' was placed on the chair, afterwhich candle was lighted. i didn't expect to receive flowers seriously. it was intended blue roses cuz' i love them, but he said that he has to wait half an hour for it and he was already running short of time, so just make do with the red roses.

went to chinatown to have chilli crab plus yang zou fried rice. perfect combination. heaven. cost a bomb definitely. but he paid them all. we had fun cracking the crabs and with all the shells flying around. awfully disgusting in the way we eat, but who cares.. afterall, who will eat crab without dirtying the tables and hands?


vivocity sky garden was the next stop. he brought his laptop along with "devils beside you" vcd. really sweet..though i felt uncomfortable sitting on the ground. starry night on the wooden ground. breezy weather. i would say it was rather romantic.

alright, out of topic alil. these days, he has been really sweet and dedicated to me. i feel uneasy cuz' i'm no longer like last time. seriously speaking, when i'm reminded of his love, i really feel so sweet still. it's just when he's not around, i'm like leading my old way of life. a life that is used to him not being around, just like leading a single life. a life even with him, i have to pretend that i don't have him infront of people. a life full of restrictions cuz' of lotsa factors, but now i no longer need to care them all. i still live in the past somehow.

i feel guilty that he's been treating me so well. i see him being so tired for my sake. i see him wanting to do all things for me despite he can't really handle. i see him going all out for me practically. yet? i disappointed him again and again.. these days. i don't know why, but i already told him and asked if he could accept such a me cuz' i can't change my brain clock back to last time just like that. i seriously don't feel the same like last time anymore, and so he said that it's okay.. cuz' he started out all these, making me feel like that from the start, thus, he will pick me up along the way as it goes for now. i'm so touched seriously. for a moment, i've broken the psychological and emotional barriers, that was back then..few weeks back. now, it's back to square. i really felt like i'm torturing him.. he's been really tired these days. his eyes are gettin' smaller than ever. i felt unsatisfied, yet i felt the heartache of tormenting physically. his body can't take it, yet i really am discontented with certain things. what can i do? sigh. he said we can surely work it out.. well.. i have no answer to that.

baby,
thanks for everything.
thanks for pampering me.
thanks for caring for me.
thanks for thinking of me.
thanks for going all out for me.
thanks for letting me take you for granted.
thanks for the joy you gave me.
thanks for letting me go haywired.
thanks for tolerating my nonsense.
thanks for sparing a thought for me.
thanks for giving your heart to me.
thanks for being dedicated.
thanks for admiring me like a jewel.
thanks for treating me like princess.
thanks for crying for me.
thanks for holding on.
thanks for changing for me.
thanks for LOVING me.

the pictures taken back then during granny's birthday. here it goes