We had absolutely no idea where to go, so settled down on Marche for lunch/dinner. We wanted to do a lot more, but night activities will drain the girl out. The sudden urge to sing came on, so we went. However, it turned out to be not-so-a-crave afterall. I would say that I have just dumped a puddle of money into the rubbish bin.

The singing wasn't enough to rid my unpleasant emotions. I haven't felt so trashed for quite a while. It was just enough to make me break down, but I held back. When was the last time I tried to be strong?

Well, what hit me right in my face is definitely not "the facts" or the so-called "truth". I am not afraid of reality. I am not the kind that will shun away from problems as well. In fact, I am one who likes to get it over and done with when it comes to affairs of the heart. It's ok to get criticized. It's ok to be get back some negative feedbacks. Nonetheless, it's never ok for one to be misunderstood. It's not ok to be insulted by one whom you always thought have known you best.

And you say
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

Out of what I heard and saw, I don't see or feel any records of love at all. I saw a prideful and self-seeking you. A you that you don't even realized, I supposed. You preach to me what's oughtfully right in your eyes, in others' eyes. What about yourself? Wow you sound so noble to have testified all these on behalf of all. Albeit so, I don't think I need a noble one. I need a humble being.

Transitions take place every now and then. Some are visible while some aren't. If you ask me whether I'm one who looks at the process of transition or the aftermath of transition, I would say "definitely the process". However, man are weird. What you speak might not be what you think. One's heart searches deep for an answer even though it might have been answered by the mouth. At some point in time, I subconsciously looked at the end product more than anything else. Terrible. "How can you overlook the crux of it?", we all said. Well, the comforting news is that at least I do reflect upon it. I'll try to make it better, even though I might be slow.

I might not have done it well, but I'm just good to go.

11:25 PM •